Sunday, July 16, 2017

But, we're not sharks.

For weeks I was searching for raw horseradish root for this "master tonic" elixir thing I was making. I went everywhere. It's one of those ingredients I don't use a ton of but I feel like I see it all the time. Grocery stores, Asian markets, indie farmers. Nope.

One produce manager told me that they'd been trying for 5 weeks to order some and no one had any!

Prepared horseradish has stuff in it like soybean oil and it comes out more like mayonnaise, can't add that to my tonic. I used to make bloody mary mixer at the Cantina, didn't I always have this on hand?

Because I have the Mind of an Entrepreneur, (which at its best is clever and strives always to fill a need in the market---at worst is an irritating backseat driver who is always thinking about business even whilst sleeping) my first thought was:

I'm Going to Start Horseradish Ranch.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

The Hare Brain.

I've always loved symbolism in literature. Foreshadowing is great but what makes reading great authors transcendent (above let's say, internet click bait content generators) is symbolism. The Art of Analogy can demonstrate how effective your own imagination really is. Metaphor, simile, all that stuff we learned in high school. For me it was the only thing that made school tolerable. It sure wasn't gym class. It was lunch hour comedy hour with the Jewish boys and finding hidden meaning in Shakespeare. The subtext IS the message. Ohhhh, I get it. One of the few things I discovered as a teen that had nothing to do with the terrifying plunge into nudity and birth control that was hormonal development. Which, looking back, I acknowledge was a tragic pre-occupation and an overrated pursuit.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Who's the Boss?

So you think you want to be your own boss. Make your own hours. Get to take credit for all your own ideas. The dream of small business!

You can do all of that. You'll also be responsible for writing your own checks. Finding your own clients. Dealing with customers and all their weird requests. Doing your own marketing, networking, invoicing, web design, inventory, phone answering and having no one to blame but yourself for running low on printer ink.

But you knew all that. Me too. The one thing that I wasn't prepared for was that I hate BEING THE BOSS.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys

Yesterday I listened to a man talk about how his back hurt so bad he couldn't bend over and tie his shoe. Twenty years ago he had an accident and the subsequent surgery left him in unbearable pain for which he still took demerol. He only takes that on the weekends because he can't work on the drug. I decided to skip the questions about how you can have a script for demerol for twenty years and just listen. Gave him arthritis. It was hard to work. Nothing works on the pain. Leg gave out the other night and he fell and broke his glasses  and that's why his face was all cut and bloody.

Have you tried Acupuncture? Massage? Chiropractic? Physical therapy? Stretching? Calcium Magnesium? Turmeric? Epsom salt baths? Hot tub?


Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The Whine Bar

You're not going to like this, but it's true. We, Americans, have become a nation of whiners. This isn't new but it's getting worse.  Complainers. Big wheat belly achers. The fat guy at the table who never gets enough to eat and yet a bounty lies before him. We bitch about cable tv customer service like it's a birthright to have 200 channels of nothing in particular. But we PAID for the service and we want our $60 worth! And they left me on HOLD for 20 minutes!

After you get up and running, be sure to go over to CNN and catch some of the devastating rubble in Nepal after yet another earthquake. Be confident no one is searching for the remote.

We demand cheap prices AND good food in restaurants because someone, somewhere came up with the mantra The Customer is Always Right. No, you're not. If you've got demands of quality and price you're never gonna find it. You do have control over it Home. Beans. Rice. Repeat.

There is no restaurant owner anywhere who says,

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Contrary Rabbit? Get in your burrow!

Today's Animal Medicine card pulled was Rabbit in the contrary position and 'tis apropos I suppose. Rabbit totem signifies fear and maybe a little unwarranted paranoia. Rabbit in the contrary position let's you know you're right to be hiding out from the energy vampires. Don't let anyone steal your power. Someone pushing your buttons? Brush them off. Paralyzed with indecision? I know that one, just sit a minute and do nothing. You'll get a clear message soon enough. It's time to wait. Nurture yourself. Re-evaluate.

"Simply put, you cannot have your influence felt until you rearrange your way of seeing the present set of circumstances. There is always a way out of any situation, because the Universal force will move on."----is the interpretation from Sams and Carson

For me, it is high time to stop trying to move mountains. Sell. Flip. Renovate. Market. Rent. Change. Worry. About this property. I hate moving. Am absolutely not in the mood to do it right now. Yes, I wish I had a teeny cottage with no upkeep in my fantasy real estate daydream, but it will cost to live anywhere. It will be work to live in anything. There are dozens of reasons to stay put and dozens more why I can't find a proper agent or buyer. So my lesson? Do something ELSE. So I am. And we shall see.

If something's not working for you right now, just walk away and put your attention elsewhere. Maybe you're trying to force a relationship that just isn't fruitful. Or trying a hobby or sport that really is cramping your flow. There is no failure really. Just re-organizing your thoughts.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

You want it or not?

I've been married since 2005. To a house.

It was love at first sight but over the years it has soured into an awkward arranged marriage. Turns out, a relationship of this magnitude was more difficult than I imagined and it also turned out that we didn't really like each other. I wasn't ready for sure. I wanted to change everything about her and she resisted change at every turn. She communicated her needs passive aggressively. A burst pipe and a caved in ceiling. A septic back up. A roof replacement that took 3 months and $60,000 which ruined my chances of getting affordable insurance ever again.

The old ball and chain.