Mouse Man

Always know your exits

Today's recurring Spirit Animal is The Mouse. Pulled from the card deck by Fernando and then showing up in the grain bin this morning he wants to tell us something.

The thing that struck me about the mouse in the bin is that it is incredibly deep, slick of side and was going to be impossible to get out. Sure, it's full of goodies but had Mouse thought about dying in there with millet and cracked corn? Probably not. He just wanted the goodies.

That's the message of Mouse Medicine. You're either looking at things too closely while the world passes you by or you're looking at a goal far ahead and all the details of the here and now are going untended.

Micro managing, over editing, monkey mind chatter, errand running without enjoying the process, mindless eating and most definitely wigging out over the small stuff is Mouse face. Ask yourself, Why Do I Make This Matter? I have a friend who absolutely hates anyone to clean her kitchen after dinner. You'll load the washer wrong, you'll use the wrong sponge, you won't rinse the soap off the knives...this may be the case, but it's a temporary error and absolutely not worth complaining about. Just for the record, there is no WRONG way to clean my kitchen. I'm just happy somebody else is doing it. But cleaning aside, what is the real issue here?

Those big Mouse eyes and complete focus allow Mouse to get into some tight places and find what he's looking for, but because he's too close to it he hasn't Plan Next. An exit strategy. A point. I'm here. Now what? Or, I made everyone stop helping me in the kitchen, now I'm overwhelmed and alone feeling. Shit.

Mouse in the contrary (pulling the card upside down, or shown here like our friend, without an exit strategy) usually means you're seeing Big Macro, but you're not tending details. Doing 5 loads of laundry but never putting it away. Spending a lot of time making a wood countertop but not sealing it properly so it rots in the rain.

Are you so focused on Getting Published, Being Recognized, Losing Weight, Meeting Your Soulmate, Making Money ---that you're leaving your art, your partner, your friends laying around like a weedy garden? Have you let yourself go? Forgotten about your health by eating and jacking on caffeine  running to catch that brass ring (that may not exist) ---? Check yourself.

A lot of what you're striving for could be right where you are. We are suspicious of things that seem to come too easily and so overlook what often just falls in our laps. Natural Talents and Skills always trump Challenging. Life is hard. Go for what you know. Contrary Mouse is a little delusional and harder to snap out of. Goal setting and manifesting is fine, but state your intent and go back to the here and now. Don't live in Future Town Maybe When I Get There World. When I'm a size 10, when I get married, when I move to Kansas, when I'm on the Tonight Show. It may never happen. And you'll spend a lot of time kicking yourself for not "achieving". Meh. Let it go.

That's the ultimate message and challenge nearly every day isn't it. Right here. Right now.

Life of Squirrel

So as you probably know, I have these animal cards. Medicine cards Native Americans call them. Totem animals. Like Tarot but for nature folks. Sometimes I pull the cards and sometimes I wait until an actual animal is presented to me numerous times in my environment. Birds flying down the chimney flue. Ravens knocking on the back door. Possum playing dead in the chicken coop. Wild turkey on the telephone pole. I like my symbolism and it's good medicine to pay attention to signs and signals. We can get so, um, smug in our daily.

So the other day I was finishing up a Feng Shui redo on an Atlanta home. Most of the work was outside making environmental anchors and unblocking and reblocking and then color blocking. In that time I had lots of time to see the comings and goings of neighborhood peeps. Barking dogs inside all day await their weary owners to come in and take them for a poop walk. Most looked relieved to be home from a daily nail biting commute. Picking up the poop in a doody bag they returned home to get fed. Nice gig, I thought. I wish just ONCE someone would bring me dinner.

(The curse of being a former chef? No one will touch your meal time. And it's just as well, who am I kidding. Who raised that cow? What did it eat? Is that raw milk? Is that fermented starter for the sourdough? No I raise my own chickens, thanks. Yea, I'm Primal. No grains, no sugar,  no cardio. Yes, beans are legumes but not allowed.  Oh, but yea. Wine is fine. For me. And most annoyingly, I bring my own food everywhere, so if you do offer me something, I've already got some deer jerky in my pocket. I wouldn't try to feed me either.) 

And no one has ever picked up my shit.

So how is it that we think that we're the highest mammal on the ladder of advancement. We lost our fur and walk upright (most of us) but how are we more advanced? You know who's got it better than the dogs? The Squirrels. They are having a ball. Always have a place to live. Always have food. Never get fat. Don't get Diabetes from eating a bunch of govt subsidized corn. Don't have bills. Aren't hunted for their succulent meat or fur and are playful and always prepared. I would like to come back as a squirrel please.

And as I crept back to the mountain house in the achingly sluggish clog that is Atlanta traffic I said, Why? Why do we think we're so smart? We are kinda slaves of our own design. We go to a job to make money (and give most of it back in taxes)  to buy the car and the clothes which we take to said job. And to pay the bank for the house we bought that we'll go broke fixing up. That costs $600 a month to heat/cool/light/cook in. That's like 85% of the traditional American life. The rest is wine and vacations. And things that come out of the TV light box and the damn smart phone.

And then we're kind of foolish with the tools that we've gotten. We text while driving. Shoot each other with military weapons. Steal from each other and take a bunch of pharmaceuticals whilst keeping the street drug trade alive and well from no legalization. We buy handbags to carry our junk that cost more than some people make in a year and even though we've got more information coming at us than ever before we seem less informed.

So where am I going with this except to ask for my squirrel nut badge for reincarnation. Be more animal like. Spend some time observing. They have much to teach us if we'll only pay attention. As our dogs, our selves could go for the nut gathering bunch as well. There are lessons everywhere. Make sure you show up for class.

Compare and Contrast

Some of the joys of having an 86 year old mother? Astute commentary like, "I think the internet is a silly, dangerous place and I hope it never catches on..." and "What the hell is a plog? Do you get paid for it?" (Um, no.) Mom grew up during the Depression and WWII and even then, because of the lack of information, the world didn't seem to be such a scary place. It was though, for sure. Any time that birthed Hitler was indeed a freakish era. But who knew? You could indulge in the blissful ignorance of wooly eyed pragmatism.

Cut to today, and there are obviously a trillion ways to get bombarded with news and bullshit from all angles. I try to stay away from "news" outlets but living where I live (boonies) and doing what I do (freelance farmy and writey things) you are very reliant on the internet. Hell, most of us are, who am I kidding. But how do I escape and fall into something if not for the Sunday NYTimes? Facebook is about as boring as it gets. I'd rather watch Golf. So for me? Blog Hopping. And Mom was right. The internet is a silly dangerous place.

The Lifestyle Blogs. The Life Hackers. The Four Hour Work Weekers who are really just Tony Robbins with merch endorsements. The Homesteaders. The Thrifty Designers. The Localvores. The Mead Crafters and the Garden Nerds.

First we have the frugal hemp homesteaders with their fermented radish pickle pantry and cumin spiked deer jerky drying in hand knitted wool baggies from their own fleece spinning, and here we have the vintage furniture builders who kiln dry their wood with eco friendly hand harvested responsible firewood who then make their own linseed oil that is good for both furniture and as an eco friendly personal lubricant.

And of course, Etsy. Where artisans repurpose and outgreen each other with jewelry and carpentry that will make you wish you had paid more attention in Shop Class. They sell lots of these things and make a respectable living just sitting at home in their bamboo blend socks drinking green tea taking macro pics of their latest creation and then zipping it off to the post office. J. Peterman for people who hate reading. Ebay for hipsters.

And the food blogs? Don't get me started. But thankfully I've exhausted that need after ten years as a chef and resto owner. So, I don't get sucked into the dude in Brooklyn who is curing his pork belly with squid ink to hang in his prosciutto closet that he made out of a vintage record cabinet he found on the street in Park Slope. But still.

So here's what I've learned. I'll need a better lens if I'm going to sell on Etsy. And more apps. And a tiller to get the cucumbers started for the juniper lacto pickles. And yes. Finish the book. But first learn the Kindle formatting software. Juice cleanse. Pilates. And finally clone myself like Marc Maron apparently has so you I can even think about being as productive. If you haven't heard his WTF podcast you're missing out. Last week he interviewed Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks back to back. And that's just last week. Then there's Aimee Mann and Lucinda Williams...and he's a walking encyclopedia on many many things.  But I digress.

Why do I torture myself? I'm 45, and have worked in industries like advertising and travel writing and restaurants and I know that this can't all be real. Etsy is probably crafted by hundreds of staff stylists from Anthropologie or at least a 23 year old with Instagram genius. And who knows what's behind the Covet Parade of Pinterest, but I'm going in for inspiration and coming out drained and defeated. I know better. I say I don't care about the Joneses but the fictional Joneses? Maybe.

Did I learn nothing from Martha? It was fraud! The recipes didn't work, you could spend days making a craft from "junking" and she had thousands of art directors and fuzzy lens photographers like Gentl & Hyers making you weep over the dewey baby carrots at sunrise. It wasn't until she went to the clink that we all could exhale, put down the Sherwin Williams paints and make brownies from a box again.

But damnit, while we were all patting ourselves on the back for not shopping at Walmart, some other big nut squeeze corporation found out how to tap the lizard brain of the ambitious and artsy. Don't do it.! Don't fall into the rabbit hole of you aren't doing it right. Keep pushing your creative endeavor up the hill Sisyphus. I will too.

The Tosser

I've been studying Feng Shui off and on for years, but recently I've really dug in. I love the symbolism, the mysticism and of course Before and After redux on interiors. But the more deeply I pursue this ancient art of placement and energy circulation, the more confusing it gets. What if my money corner is in the Northeast and that's the Love corner? What if my metal is overwhelming my wood chi in the health center? What if the Bagua doesn't cover my weird rectangular bowling alley of a ranch house? And most unsettling, I came across one expert who claimed that in 2013 there is to be NO fire in the center of the home (where my fireplace is, incidentally) as this will invite very bad energy to enter and flourish.

I laughed at first and then I thought back over the last few years. Roof blowing off. Pipes bursting underground and overhead. Natural Springs flowing and real estate crashes. I mean, how important IS a fireplace anyway? I closed the flue, cleared the wood and resigned to building fires in the pit outside. I'm not suspicious. But.

As I implement more elements into my own home and the homes of others, I definitely feel the energy shift. It works. And it's as easy as having intent in your placement (don't put a gift from an ex on the nightstand for example) and sometimes it's just as simple as moving your shit around and cleaning the dust out from the sofa and placing it at a different angle. It's not all Buddha statues and Red Dragons either which is helpful if you're not working with design of the Orient.

But before you go out and go bananas with wind chimes and lanterns, you have to clear the energy. Don't add fresh milk to the sour milk in an attempt to freshen up the former, sort of idea. Clear the negative chi to prepare for the healing energy. Acupuncture for your house begins with one universal guiding principle. Quiet the Noise of Clutter.

To avoid getting sucked into a vortex I suggest starting small. A good call is the bathroom where there is little emotional attachment to the outdated items in the closet and medicine cabinet. Shampoos, body creams and make up don't last forever. 6mos-a year and the chemistry changes. Definitely not something to tinker with for your skin, hair and eyes. And next time buy smaller sizes. You're not saving any money by getting a liter of anything unless you're in the horse washing business.

In the medicine cabinet really assess The Stuff. The Just In Case I Need is fine for band aids and peroxide and such but if you're lining your shelves with heartburn meds and OTC crap for every allergy and malady you may ever have, it's time to assess your underlying well being. I saw a commercial for some heartburn cure du jour with that git er done redneck guy standing in front of a corndog stand proclaiming how American it is to punch heartburn in the face before you actually get it and then eat all the crap you want, just take this pill EVERY day. That's insane. It may in fact BE American, but it's still insane. Toss everything that's duplicate or expired. Or for Halloween. Now.

Towels that are stained, dingy or maybe you just hate them---relegate to the car wash rag bin. Cut them up and use them on the dog or to wash the floor. Life's too short for ratty towels. Get ye to TJMaxx for some plush Egyptian cotton jobs in a soothing color. That's $50 well spent. And you use it every day, so it's worth the splurge. Ditto the $5 shower curtain liner and what about those rugs?

Clean the tub like a 4 star hotel. Remove cracked caulk and refill when tile is dry on seams. Fill a bucket with hot water, vinegar and some essential oil like rosemary and wipe down everything. Floors, walls, sinks, tub, toilet. Open window for at least 20 minutes and toss all fabrics in the laundry. Put a vase of herbs or branch cuttings from your yard on counter. Stock toilet paper in handy baskets and stash personal items like zit wash and condoms and hormone creams. Keep lid on toilet closed at all times and if your bath is en suite, keep the door shut. You don't want all your energy going down the drain. Get started!

Cutting the Fat (Again)

Thank you to all who have written emails and called to ask if I'm doing okay since going "off grid", "underground" and one interesting text which asked if I had died or 'what'. To which I answered 'or what'.  I cut the cord to Facebook. Roll out the eulogy.

Like most things in my life (men, real estate, exit strategies) it was impulsive. Bloated and fatigued from all the weird underbellies shown from the Election and general assholery of people I not only didn't know, but had found (online at least)---I didn't WANT to know, I just deactivated my account sometime mid November and went about my life. Wedding season, vacation, loathe for winter, chicken surplus, flood management. The usual. Somehow FB just didn't fit into it and when it did, it was a bummer. It was like eating a Hot Pocket when you really wanted a Beef Wellington. I found I left the table unsatisfied, so I stopped bellying up to the trough.

At its best though, there were glimpses into the human experience that were really swell. People who post about cancer survivorship, updates on regional weather that posts before the weather channel even gets out of bed, and interweaving with really interesting people that I may have missed living in rural Georgia and hitting the Feed n' Seed on Thursdays. A cool lady named Becky in Kentucky whom I've never met but feel a kindred spirit...a mutual admiration society for an editor named Bobbi, an always on my mind but rarely seen in person poet Jennifer, a chef owner or two who I empathize with and of course my globetrotting bon vivant mensch Scott. Oh and wordsmith Allison and her husband who kick ass in martial arts and lovely Ashley in LA the art darling with the cutest baby...and the women I met in Guatemala on a writer's retreat. And uber positive Juli and...Okay, so I miss a lot of folks.

I don't miss the format though, but I kind of feel a twinge of baby and bathwater remorse. I wish there was another alternative. I want us all to talk, I just don't want to post it on I-95. It's part of my missive to inform, enlighten and amuse. And yes, challenge.  Facebook is just too wide open for me. Freaks me out. Modern McCarthyism. I've become an odd incongruence of memoir tell all writer and private hermit chicken lady. The Unknown Comic 2.0.

I admit to enjoying feedback from my audience, patient lot that you are, and I trust that each and every one of you will download my book when I launch it or have the good sense to lie about it. And to those who didn't notice I was gone, I never liked you anyway. So you can find me here, in our secret society. Subscribing is a good idea, or send me an email and I'll forward it to you old school when I have writing. Or maybe I'll print a good old fashioned paper newsletter. Aww, remember Zines? Stay tuned.

Playing Dead

I like to sleep with the windows open pretty much all year. My mountain geography allows this most months save for January. I have to have fresh air to have the best dreams is my rationale. Fernando not so much. We compromise on open window, closed curtains. Last night with the full harvest moon ready to pop and the neighbor's dog on a wolf hunt and the coyotes in full orchestration, I was ready to lock it down too. But instead I got up to investigate. Not alone of course, I want everyone to share in my insomnia. Just because you can sleep through a 120lb lab barking for an hour without pause, doesn't mean I'll let you. So off we went with flashlights, robes and hiking boots.

Solar flares, head explosions and curry

If any of you have felt weird in the last couple of weeks, there's a good chance you're trying to process a lot of energy tossed out there by solar flares. We're in the middle of a year of big sun explosions and it can affect every aspect of your life. From your computer to power surges to headaches to sleep patterns.  I am, like a few of you, a giant environmental sponge. Sometimes it's called Empath. Some say Highly Sensitive People. I sort of wish I weren't but it does help me in a lot of other aspects of my life and work so I just try to work with it because you can't fight it. It's like killing dandelions. As soon as you stop seeing them as a weed you can't control and just start eating them for all of their benefits, you'll be better off.